Needless to say, like the nightmarish combination of sage incense and beaded doorways, I find this ethos to be profoundly irritating.
One thing that really gets me though is the hippie method of blowing someone off. Since the hippie prizes above all things "spontaneity" and "living in the moment," he cannot make plans -- it is anathema to his very being. If he did, he'd start becoming more like the man, man! So, the hippie spends a lot of time "going with the flow" and "just seeing where the moment takes" him.
I live in a giant, sprawling city that was basically built in the fifties when they were practically giving away free cars and houses to everyone who fought in the war and their children. I have a bike and bus pass to navigate this post-suburban behemoth with its concrete tentacles that snake for miles in every direction. Getting from point A to point B can be an Odysseian feat... Bet you didn't know Los Angeles has cyclops. He lives in Watts. He's a cool guy, once you get to know him.
Spontaneity is not really a big part of my life, since it will sometimes take me two hours to get from one side of the city to the other. When you tell someone like me "We'll just play it by ear," it basically means "I am blowing you off."
The ingenious hippies however have found a way to make it your fault when they blow you off. Say, for instance, you can't "go with the flow" because it would take you two hours to travel to the designated meet up point. But they just called to tell you that they would be there in 15 minutes. And say, for instance, you find that kind of aggravating and you decide to tell the hippies that you thought it was kind of rude and inconsiderate to give you such short notice when they were fully aware that you couldn't possibly do anything on such short notice. A hippie can respond with, "Hey man, just chill out."
Now, the onus is on you for getting upset at someone who's just being a free spirit, albeit a free spirit with a car and money for gas.
And after you get mad at said hippie and go about the plans you had already made since your efforts to try to make more solid arrangements had gone unanswered for three days (all in the cause of spontaneity, I'm sure), you leave your bike tied to a post in a less-than-reputable neighborhood, where it comes into the possession of someone who spontaneously decided to steal it.
And by "you" I mean "I." So I offer this note that I once wrote to my students when they stole my phone, tweaked to fit the current situation.
Dear Person Who Stole My Bike,
You are pretty much the reason I have given up on humanity. Enjoy your new bike.
Love,
Jason
PS I hope you crash it into a pole.
On the bright side, I may have lost a bike, but at least my worldview was confirmed.
 |
| Buh-bye, Sole Means of Transportation! You will be missed. |
4 comments:
I'm really sorry about your bike. I hope you can find something else soon! Let me know how it goes.
For the rest...
I kinda think what you're calling the "hippie-curious" are something else from hippies entirely.
I think there's nothing really wrong with shopping at Whole Foods if you either have the money to do it or are willing to starve yourself slightly for the cause. There's also the occasional bargain, fwiw. And I don't think that that has anything to do with the "chill out"/"spontaneous" thing, and to be honest I tend to see the Buy Organics types as a good deal more uptight than that, but maybe this is an L.A. thing.
I'm not sure how shouting "Good for you!" at bicyclists is condescending--maybe conceited is more accurate--because it assumes you're on the 'same side' rather than looking down on you, or at least so I would imagine without context or tone of voice.
Also, I think what "chill out" is doing in that context is not blaming you but rather asking you to excuse the fact that they overlooked that and not make it into a big thing. A simple apology might be nicer, but since most people tend to get angry in return, sometimes "chill out" is a tolerable compromise. The slightly annoying thing is communicates "I don't want to argue about this" by making it into "This isn't worth arguing about," which, if you are clearly invested in its being worth arguing about, can seem (even more) inconsiderate or maybe condescending. But I don't think it's something inherent to saying "Chill out," or even part of "being a free spirit." Hell, it's probably more a part of the expectation that if you don't have the same understanding, you'll do what they would do and not care. But one can always argue that it's worth caring about if one is so inclined.
But then, I don't really attempt to make plans with people who aren't also interested in making solid plans. It just struck me that this is a very guy thing to do, incidentally. Not that girls don't ever blow people off, but guys tend to blame girls for being girly when they just decide to do something different and the girl gets upset because it affects them. The girl is all, "How could you do that to me?" and the guy is all, "Do what to you? I'm just living my life. I'm a free individual." and the girl is like, "Arghghgh," or if they're me, "Having liberty is not the same thing as being able to do whatever you want regardless of your relationships to other people! Relationships of whatever kind mean your actions affect others, and you have to take that into account!" But um, yeah, I'm gonna stop now.
Btw, if you're unsure why I wrote this list, it's my way of:
1) explaining why my reaction to posts like this is genuine sympathy for you getting your bike stolen, but not real support for your indignation at hippies or whatever else.
2) pointing out one of those times when you seem to me to be ascribing something you see as blameworthy to a supposed identity that I think you see as the real/underlying problem, and therefore expressing disdain for everything else that you associate with that identity. This, to me, has always seemed to be an unfair and inappropriate way to assign blame. And if it's unfair and inconsiderate, it then verges on hypocritical as well.
I am convinced. You are saintly.
Of course I'm not.
Speaking of which, I probably should reserve such comments for private conversation.
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