11/11/11

Last week Thursday, the date was November 11, 2011. For those of you who weren't paying attention, that's 11/11/11 -- something that happens only once every one hundred years. This was something that got quite a few people excited, because people's lives are actually that boring.

Something that people like to do when all the numbers are the same is make a wish. So my Facebook and Twitter feeds were full of people exhorting their fellow social media-ers to do exactly that, since I guess God is more apt to listen to the pathetic cries of mortals when all the numbers in the date are the same.

But it occurred to me that 11/11/2011 isn't that special because when you write out the full year, there are two misfit numbers. It got me to thinking about some of the wishes people might have made last time the numbers were all really the same. These are some wishes made on 11/11/1111. Enjoy!

"Verily I wish that our Lorde giveth unto us water that is not contaminated with feces of the pygge."


"I wish that the landlorde would not eye my daughter so covetously!"


"Verily I wish the Barber-Surgeon will remove the Daemon within my Bowels that giveth me the Runs."


"May the Viking horde that burned my Village meet a terrible Ende in the belly of a gyant Monster of the Sea."


‎"I hope this Splynter of the Cross that Bore the Sonne of Man I bought from that priest with mine laste Sylver cures mine Wiffe and Childe of the foul Pestilence."

And finally, one of the most common wishes wished on 11/11/1111

"May the generous Lorde of All grant unto me and mine Familye swift and Merciful Reprieve from this hellish Existence."


Most of these could also be applied to most third-world shanty towns, if anyone from a a third-world shanty town checked their third-world shanty calendar to see that it was 11/11/2011.